Issue 15: No matter how small or foolish, just start  July 19th 2023

If it’s never too late to start, then why start now?

Why so serious? So many creatives take forever to start because it’s got to be perfect. It’s the most important thing. What if tomorrow never comes?

“Some things are too important to be taken seriously.” ― Oscar Wilde

I remember watching a Warren Buffet talk to students. He asked them what one quality should you look for in a spouse. He mentioned the most popular choices:

"Do you look for brains? Do you look for humor? Do you look for character? Do you look for beauty?"

Buffett answered no. Instead, he said,

"You look for low expectations! That's a marriage that's gonna last".

If both partners don’t wait so long and enter with lower expectations, the marriage is more likely to work.

Why do creatives take themselves so seriously and wait for the perfect moment?

Start small, play for fun: Rick Rubin, the legendary American record executive and producer who produced albums for acts like the Beastie Boys, Run-DMC, Public Enemy and LL Cool J, has a new book, The Creative Act: A Way of Being. He says most creatives get stuck when they begin a work, complete a work or share a work. They're convinced what they're working on is the most important thing in their life and that it will define them for eternity. It’s easy to see how putting so much pressure on themselves can backfire.

Rubin recommends you lower the stakes and view your creation as a small work, an experiment or a beginning. He says,

"If you start from the position that there is no right or wrong, no good or bad, and creativity is just free play with no rules, it’s easier to submerge yourself joyfully in the process of making things. ... We’re not playing to win, we’re playing to play. And ultimately, playing is fun. Perfectionism gets in the way of fun. ... Setting the bar low, especially to get started, frees you to play, explore, and test without attachment to results… Active play and experimentation until we’re happily surprised is how the best work reveals itself. ―Rick Rubin

Who's got your back? We live in the most connected technological time. Yet, more people than ever are lonely and say they have no real friends today.

What makes a good life? Dr. Bob Waldinger and Marc Schulzm, published a new book called The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness. The authors, part of an 85 year long study, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, have been tracking the lives of 724 Americans over three generations on what makes a good life.

Everyone needs someone: Waldinger in a TED talk, said, “Everyone needs at least one person they can call on in the middle of the night if they are sick, or scared. People who are more socially connected and who have good, authentic relationships are the healthiest and happiest. They are more insulated against stress, depression, and cognitive decline. What matters is not where you connect but how you connect with other people.

He recommends making a list of your closest friends, family, and acquaintances not based on importance or success but instead on how they affect you daily, weekly or monthly. What matters are people who consistently energize you, regardless of how frequently you see them.

Call To Action for a Good Life: Waldinger suggests doing a simple exercise that involves reconnecting with someone from your past. Think about someone you miss, someone you haven't seen in a while. Email or text them with a message like this:

"I'm thinking of you and wanted to connect."

Then watch what happens next and engage.

Start by engaging in the comments section: Creators meet and connect in the most unusual places, which is how Kyle Kim and Michael Jibrin met. Kyle Kim, a Toronto-based Korean YouTuber and filmmaker, has been creating videos for fun as his side hustle for more than ten years. Michael Jibrin, is a Nigerian actor, filmmaker and podcaster based in Boston who has been been a creative for about ten years. Jibrin stumbled on one of Kim's YouTube videos early in the pandemic and reached out in the comments section to talk shop about cameras. The conversation quickly moved to Instagram chat and then to phone and video calls. Jibrin interviewed Kim for his podcast, "Road to the City".

Just Start: Then, in 2022, Kim was invited to a Christian conference as a guest speaker in Boston and met up with Jibrin. Incidentally, Kim has a full time job as a video editor and is also a pastor at a Korean church in Toronto.

In Boston, the two creators met for the first time in-person. They spent the day together, eating and talking about their lives without really having a concept for "Just Start", a 6-minute video they made for Kim’s YouTube channel that's been watched by almost half a million people.

Kim told me there was no plan for the video, but he and Jibrin shared a common thread in their story as struggling immigrants desperate to find their place and belonging in their adopted countries. Kim said,

"We needed to learn how to survive, how to create and and how to strive as creatives". ― Kyle Kim

Jibrin told me that nothing was planned when they met to make the video:

"We were two people with no expectations. There was no end goal. It took two years of back and forth. When we made that video, it wasn't scripted. .. If you find someone and you're curious about the person. If you're interested to know what they're doing, then over time, just ask them. ―Michael Jibrin

Jibrin sums up the magic of connecting and starting a new relationship with someone without worrying about what might happen:

"It wasn't planned. I think that's the beauty of life - is that we just do things and not know what comes - but then end up being surprised by the beauty of what comes out of this." ― Michael Jibrin

Asked what advice Kim would give to young and aspiring creators who feel lost and overwhelmed, he has two simple words for them:

"Just Start"