Issue 43: One Filmmaker's Drive to Break the Silence Around Childhood Sexual Abuse  April 21st 2026

The Film: Telling What Cannot Be Said

Jafri says she intentionally kept the camera on Fatin after her uncle first enters the scene, because "what's important to me is how he's making her feel. So I stay with her." There is no flashback. The audience doesn't need to witness what Fatin endured as a girl.

"I really wanted to challenge myself to talk about something without really saying it out loud”, Jafri says. "When two people are in a room together… they're never really going to say what's on their mind. Their behaviour shows what they're going through."

Rather than depicting the past abuse, Jafri focuses on its long-term consequences and the way it is normalized in the present. At the family home, the uncle is welcome, eats at the table, sleeps in the guest room, and is thanked for attending the family wedding.

Making Space: A Filmmaker's Journey Past Self‑Doubt and the White Gaze

Permanent Guest is Jafri's debut as a writer and director. Before her short screened at TIFF, she spent nearly a decade working as an assistant director. She was close to the centre, but never in the director's chair.

"I wanted to transition into writing and directing after almost a decade-long career in film," she says. "That's what I always wanted to do."

Wanting something and believing you are allowed to have it are two different things that many racialized creatives know and wrestle with. Jafri admits she struggled with it herself:

"I felt like being a director is not for people like me. I needed to become somebody in order to be able to lead."

Hirra Farooqi, Founder and CEO of the Muslim International Film Festival (MIFF) sees this self-doubt in many filmmakers.

"There is a barrier for Muslim filmmakers," she says. "A lot of Muslim filmmakers here in the West are first and second-generation immigrants who don't have the financial access to enter filmmaking due to the pressures of going into financially stable roles like being a doctor or an engineer. And the art is lost in our dreams."

The "white gaze," associated with the work of Toni Morrison, refers to the tendency to create stories for a presumed white Western audience. For filmmakers from marginalized communities, it also manifests as internal editing, an unconscious revision of one's own story to satisfy industry gatekeepers and fit in. When industry peers suggested that Permanent Guest would not translate for Western audiences and pushed for over-explanation, Jafri eventually rejected their advice.

"I can't cater to somebody's gaze to tell my story, because it's my story. In the past two years — being able to make a short, being able to talk to women. It's put me in a position where I care less about whether the film is going to be good or not and more about being able to tell it authentically, through my perspective, rather than how somebody wants to see it."

Finding Your People, Finding Your Voice

Farooqi agrees and explains why community is essential for the kind of clarity that helps a creator find their voice.

"When we're constantly creating stories where we're thinking of an audience that is not our own, it ends up becoming very performative," she says. "It ends up not translating well. It's so important to create stories for ourselves and with the hope that other people will understand."

For Jafri, finding that community was challenging. She moved to Toronto in January 2025 and began rebuilding her network from scratch.

"When I started going to events I experienced a lot of anxiety. I was the only person who didn't know anybody."

Jafri became a director by repeatedly showing up. She won grants, completed residencies in Paris and Los Angeles, and ran a successful Kickstarter in Pakistan that funded Permanent Guest.

When Permanent Guest was accepted into TIFF Short Cuts, the weight of her journey came full circle."

"My short got into TIFF," she says. "I thought, 'How am I going to get into this industry?'"

The Cultural Context: Silence as Survival

In Canada, almost one in ten people have experienced at least one form of sexual abuse before the age of 15, according to Statistics Canada (2018). Women were three times more likely than men to have been sexually abused by an adult during childhood. The perpetrator is often someone the survivor already knew (Statistics Canada, 2022). The pattern is familiar and devastating: the child says nothing, the abuse is not a single event, and the person responsible is often someone close.

"In South Asian households we're very close with our extended families," Jafri says. "It's even harder to cut off a relative who could be an abuser." Cultural expectations around respect, caregiving, and family honour can act as a powerful silencer. "Women control the daily chores and the look of the house," she adds, "but when serious decisions arise, the father's word is final."

"Maria Barcelos, Executive Director of The Gatehouse, a Toronto-based, peer-led organisation supporting adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, has seen this dynamic across many communities.

"In many communities, there can be strong cultural pressures around family loyalty, honour, and silence," Barcelos says. "Survivors may fear bringing shame to their family, not being believed, or being blamed for what happened. In some cases, the abuser is a respected family or community member, which makes disclosure even more difficult and dangerous."

Who Gets to Tell My Story?

The reception of Permanent Guest has varied by cultural context. In Pakistan, a screening of around 350 people saw the audience stay two hours to share their experiences. Jafri says,

"They talked about how they felt seen, and how it was their story. Western audiences expect a certain kind of story from our part of the world," she says. "They want the victim to be the perfect victim."

For her future feature film, Scattered Rain, currently in development and based on her short film, Jafri was told by industry people that giving her protagonist agency would undermine audience sympathy. Initially, she accepted that feedback, stripping her character of agency to meet an expectation that never felt authentic.

After many conversations with survivors of childhood sexual abuse, she questioned why she had ever compromised.

"Why am I letting white people tell me what a perfect victim is or why my character should be a perfect victim when I have spoken to over 200 women over the past four years who are victims of childhood sexual abuse? When I have worked with victims of childhood sexual abuse and when I myself am a survivor? Why am I letting white men tell me how to tell my story?"

When Survivors Speak Out

The act of naming oneself a survivor carries an enormous weight. For Jafri, it is foundational to Permanent Guest.

In July 2024, Andrea Robin Skinner, daughter of Nobel Prize-winning Canadian author Alice Munro, wrote an article on The Gateway's website that was quoted in the Globe and Mail, revealing that her stepfather, Gerald Fremlin, had sexually abused her beginning when she was nine years old. She had told her mother in 1992, who chose to stay with Fremlin. Skinner carried the silence publicly for decades, and only broke it after her mother died.

For survivors reading Skinner's story, the realization is that even after coming forward and telling, you are not guaranteed to be believed or protected . Skinner didn't go public to hurt her stepfather and writes,

"What I wanted was some record of the truth, in a context that asserted I had not deserved it. ... But victories such as these still hurt; they just hurt less than doing nothing."

The Gatehouse: A Safe Place to Be Believed

For many survivors, the first step toward healing is not therapy or formal disclosure. It is finding a place where being believed is guaranteed. The Gatehouse, based in Toronto, is a peer-led organisation offering free programming and support to adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse aged 16 and over. Its model is built on what

Executive Director, Barcelos, describes the conditions that make healing possible for survivors:

"What helps people heal is having their experience acknowledged and validated," she says. "Being believed. Having a safe place to share and be heard. Having access to other people who have walked a similar path."

The peer-led part is essential. When a survivor is supported by someone who has lived through something similar, the message is not only that they are believed. It's that a life beyond the trauma exists. The Gatehouse offers trauma-informed counselling, expressive arts programming, and advocates for legislation at the intersection of prevention and healing to improve systems for survivors.

Erin's Law: Giving Children the Words

Children rarely disclose abuse because they lack both permission and language to name what happened. Erin's Law, named after American survivor and activist Erin Merryn, addresses the issue. It requires school-based, age-appropriate body safety education. Children are taught about personal boundaries, appropriate and inappropriate touch, and how to tell a trusted adult. Most perpetrators are not strangers.

Barcelos advocates for its adoption in Ontario.

"If we give children the words, the knowledge, and permission to speak," she says, "we change the conditions under which abuse continues undetected for years."

Many survivors only come to recognise their own experience as abuse after hearing someone else's account.

Transforming Trauma Together Festival hosted by The Gatehouse is a free conference happening from May 11 to 13, 2026 at Humber College Lakeshore Campus about community storytelling, performance, and collective healing with people who understand survivors.

"Healing happens in community," Barcelos says. "It happens when we feel less alone. When we see ourselves reflected — when someone else puts words to something we have never been able to name, something shifts."

Why Representation Matters

Jafri's future feature film, inspired by her short, Permanent Guest and from years of listening, will reflect her community. She says,

"My character has agency because real people have agency, even in impossible situations. That's not a flaw in the story. That's the truth of it."

The permanent guest in Fatin's home is allowed to eat and sleep in the guest room. He does not know, remember or care what he left behind. But Fatin knows and because Sana Jafri made Permanent Guest, the audience knows. Healing happens not in silence but in the act of sharing and being seen in community.

Funding the Next Chapter

Jafri recently received a Research and Development Grant from the Canada Council for the Arts to advance her next film, Scattered Rain, toward production. The funding will enable her to complete the final script draft and bring on a co-writer. It is the type of support that determines whether an independent project moves forward or quietly stalls. She plans to apply to TIFF's Market to connect with producers and partners to help get feature released on screen sooner.

Advice for Emerging Creators

For filmmakers from marginalized communities, Jafri believes authenticity matters far more than conforming to industry expectations.

"The more personal your story is, the more universal it's going to be."

For Jafri, storytelling is also deeply collaborative.

"It's not about my success or your success. When we create something together, we can really move forward."

Permanent Guest proves that even the quietest, most intimate stories carry the weight to spark powerful conversations.

"Nobody can tell your story. If you're telling your story, tell it from your perspective."

Faith Tabladillo is a journalism student at MacEwan University in Edmonton, Alberta, with interests in politics, technology, finance, and community reporting. Flavian DeLima is the publisher and editor of Spinning Forward.

Resources and Community Connections

If you or someone you know needs support, these organizations offer a range of services for survivors of childhood sexual abuse and sexual violence across the GTA:

Survivor Support

• The Gatehouse — Free, peer-led support for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse aged 16+. | 416-255-5900. They are hosting a free three-day Transforming Trauma Together conference, May 11–13, 2026, at Humber College Lakeshore Campus.
• South Asian Women's Centre — Support, settlement, and violence against women services for South Asian and racialized women. | 416-537-2276
• Toronto Rape Crisis Centre / Multicultural Women Against Rape (TRCC/MWAR) — 24/7 crisis line and counselling for all survivors of sexual and gender-based violence. | 416-597-8808

Counselling & Mental Health

• Family Service Toronto — Counselling and community support services for individuals and families. | 416-595-9618
• Catholic Family Services of Toronto — Counselling for individuals, couples, and families; open to all regardless of faith. | 416-921-1163
• CAMH — Canada's largest mental health and addiction teaching hospital. | 416-535-8501
• Addiction Rehab Toronto — Drug and alcohol rehabilitation and mental health recovery programmes across the GTA.
• Private Therapists — The Ontario Psychological Association's directory can help you find a registered therapist in Toronto.

Crisis Lines

• Assaulted Women's Helpline — Free, anonymous, 24/7 crisis counselling in up to 154 languages. | 1-866-863-0511
• Kids Help Phone — 24/7 support for young people across Canada. | 1-800-668-6868 | Text CONNECT to 686868
• Victim Support Line — Ontario-wide support and referrals for victims of crime. | 1-888-579-2888
• Distress Centres of Greater Toronto — 24/7 emotional support and crisis intervention. | 416-408-4357